Adiocracy

The copy for this ad reads, “When I’m happy being me, I’m confident, playful, free, good to go.” Take your best guess below. Hint: It’s not what you’d expect your first guess to be.

We’ve been meaning to get to this confusing ad by Reddi-wip in celebration of Thanksgiving. But as usual, the poor holiday got lost in all the pre-Xmas hooplah. Reddi-wip’s proposition is that, even though delivered in a can, it’s made with real cream. Call us crazy, but when your goal is to remind people that you’re a dairy product and not made from say, corn oil, you don’t choose to celebrate Thanksgiving by spelling out your name in the kernals of an ear of corn. Pick the mighty pumpkin as your holiday reference. Or one of those pilgrim candles. But maize makes for a damn confusing message. We have no idea how agency and client could have ended up here. Do you?

We’ve been showing this classic Hormel ad to clients and students for a while because we think it represents the kind of inbred marketing/ad thinking that too often leads to wild syllogistic leaps of logic. Granted, we haven’t seen any of the research on ‘college graduation and pork’. But if you show women frollicking in a lush park and offer up ‘It’s a day to look back, a day to look forward’ and end up on ham — even Cure 81 ham — it’s a big let down on a lofty premise. Even if you believe in the ham = celebration equation. 

An Adiocracy confession. Ralph DC guessed the product almost immediately, but was kind enough to allow us to hold off his post until other folks took a crack at it. Ralph was able to digitally sleuth the copyright line,  but he also swears he remembers seeing this ad. We’re confident that next week’s mystery product will stump even Ralph (no digital sleuthing allowed!)

Since you all failed so miserably at guessing Combos, see if you can do any better guessing what this ad is for. The copy proclaims ‘Graduation Day. A Day to look back. A day to look forward. A day for…’ what? Take your best guess!

This ad for Schmitt Sohne Wines suggest that you to go to your local wine store and ask for a little German. We did and it didn’t go well. We’re not saying there aren’t lots of uses for a little German fella around the house — stacking stones, organizing the pots and pans on the bottom shelves, whatever — but the woman in this ad has chosen him as her private bath-time companion. Of all the men she might fantasize to be with, she’s chosen this little wide-eyed character.

At our New Year’s Eve party, on the chance we were missing something, we showed this ad to a few woman we wouldn’t have minded sharing a bath with ourselves. It did not elicit a single giggle or smile. It did receive a few ‘eeew’s’ and a couple of off-color remarks questioning our own intentions for showing them the ad.

Which leads us to the conclusion that the idea is not only a bad pun, but a creepy, dumb execution of a bad pun.  

We hope that Schmitt Sohne does not intend for this goofy  little character to be its Yellow Tail. In this country selling a Reisling is dificult enough. Pegging it to a midget in lederhosen would be just plain silly, if it weren’t so creepy. 

That’s where we stand here in Creepy-Ville. What do you think? Post your thoughts below.

Combos Pretzels. Of course!

You guessed deodorant, cologne, jeans, underwear, condoms, shades, t-shirts, talcum powder, spas, but no one came close to guessing this ad for Combos.

Combos is a decent product, and there are a lot of things it is well-engineered for, like playing finger football at the bar. We just wonder why agency and client were trying so hard to make combos cool rather than allowing the funky stuffed pretzel nub to be what it is: Fun.

Every year, the holidays bring with them a host of painfully overinflated exclamations of the role that minor food items play in holiday celebrations. We’ve collected a few of the many as a reminder from Adiocracy of the value of understanding your true role in the overall scheme of things. In the case of these food products, a simple reminder to get real. You are not the valiant Christmas tree or the impressive turkey, the 40 lb ham or Wii wrapped beneath the tree. You’re just a cocktail weenie, a cracker, a box of stuffing, a can of soup. Accept it. The swagger looks a bit silly on you.

There are many reasons why people to stay too long at a party. Cocktail weenies are not only not one of them, they might be the very reason we’d rethink even staying for dinner. 

It’s the stuffing! Darn, you put so much effort into the decorations, the Mini-Me sized turkey, but all they remembered was the stuffing! If that’s the real reason they wanna be at your house, we think it’s okay to seriously downsize the amount of money you blow on their presents next year.

Crackers so magical they made a tale about them! Not just big crackers, but magical ones! Frankly, we’ve never asked a lot from our crackers. Just that they hold it together during the spread, bear whatever modest load we designate and don’t overdo it on the transfats. Copy urges readers to go to Nabisco’s website during the holiday season to watch a magical cracker movie and play magical cracker games, and maybe this is where all the cracker magic really comes together. But honestly, who the hell has time or even the slightest interest to bother, what with the frantic hours wasted running around trying to find some reasonably unlame gift for your boss/secretary/babysitter/new girlfriend, etc. Playing a Nabisco cracker game? Not in the cards. Besides, we don’t want our crackers to be magical. We just want them to keep that dip from landing in our lap or on our new holiday tie.

We continue the holiday magic theme with Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup. For sure, lots of elements go into creating Holiday Magic, but we’ve never, ever thought of a green bean casserole (and we’ve shoveled our share of the stuff down our gullets over the years) as one of the magical components. So be honest, Campbell’s. It looks better on you. A green bean casserole is not magic, it’s table filler, often times whipped up a few hours before dinner because someone didn’t come through with the parmesan encrusted asparagus. It’s workmanly and nothing to be ashamed of. But it’s certainly not something you want to produce with the flourish of a Vegas magician. Best to quietly slip it onto the table and hope no one makes a sly comment.

This final ad for the America’s Dairy Farmers avoids the above ego overinflation. But the lovely site of sweaty cheese hanging off the tree reminded us of an Xmas party a few years back when we were assigned the hors d’oeuvres. We were late and scored a nice pre-wrapped tray of sushi on the way but in the cab remembered we’d also been asked to contribute an ornament for the tree. So we hooked each piece of sushi with a paper clip, hung them on the tree and called them hor d’oeurvaments. We’re sure that, much like the left over sushi, the stank off the cheese on this tree was particularly appreciated while hungover the next morning. 

That’s what we think. How about you? Share your comments below.